You’ve thought it through, considered every detail and decided to move in with your man. But, what to expect when you start living with your boyfriend?
From my personal experience, living together is actually easier than people say. Your parents might have already freaked you out with the „you are too young for that” or „what about college”, but trust me… I was 18 when I moved in with my boyfriend, just starting out at university, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Of course, it has its ups and downs, but I believe it’s a very new, joyful and surprising experience that every young adult has to face at one point. And if you feel like you’ve met the right person and ready to make the next step, go ahead.
You will have to get 100% comfortable with him
No more “sneaking out to the bathroom to apply makeup before he wakes up” and no more “oh thank you, I won’t eat that much, I’m not that hungry”. It’s essential that while you are both adapting to each other, you both feel safe and comfortable to make this house your new home. You shouldn’t be escaping to your friends and parents’ house to feel like you can be comfortable and be yourself. At the same time, find the balance.
Although constantly looking like a mess won’t help your relationship, don’t be afraid to get ugly sometimes. Wearing oversized sweatpants and a huge scarf when you are sick or wearing crazy sheet masks if you are having a pamper day is all perfectly fine. You don’t have to be a perfect porcelain doll in front of him. I know it sounds cliché, but he loves you for who you are…not just when you are wearing a pretty dress and a full face of makeup.
The first weeks of living with your boyfriend aren’t the hardest
People usually say the first weeks are the most challenging, but it’s not quite the case. Chances are, you’ve known him for a long enough time and spent a lot of time at each other’s places, so for the first few weeks, it might seem like a very long sleepover. Yes, you might argue about the smallest home décor stuff at first, but once that’s over, you will probably enjoy the first few months very, very much.
It will be the time when both of you are very considerate with the other person while trying to figure out how things will work exactly. If you have different jobs or are at a different place in life, it will take some time to get used to the other person’s schedule, but if you believe he is the one, it will be worth it.
You will have to adapt…a lot more then before
It’s true, moving in will require a lot of adaptation from both sides. Different habits, traditions, things you’ve never discussed will come up at one point, and if you are very different, it will probably spark a few arguments but don’t worry, it’s normal at this phase.
From the small things (what are you having for breakfast) to bigger ones (talking about getting married or having children), everything can cause a huge fight if one of you is a bit more tired or woke up in a bad mood. But that’s part of it. With patience, kindness and a bit of extra care, you will be able to get through it and enjoy living together.
Your connection will get to a whole new level
You thought you already knew him like he was your best friend, but living together will make you to , get to know him, like a family member. You will know everything from a little gesture: when he is sad, angry, happy, hungry, bored or disappointed.
You won’t need to talk to each other to know what’s going on, and like everything, knowing him “too much” will have its benefits and disadvantages. It evidently won’t change your relationship completely, but it will definitely make your connection even deeper in a level you didn’t think existed.
You will have to make financial decisions together
This sounds evident, but once you are in the situation, working out financial things with him will be weird and difficult for the first time. Whether you decide to go with only one budget for the both of you or keep absolutely separated bank accounts, decide who is paying for what and what is the limit.
This might be completely new to you if you just started working or if you are still at university and your parents are taking care of you, but try to discuss things clearly with him.
If you have very different opinions, try to stay calm and listen to each other to figure out the best possible way. Don’t worry about it too much, though – after the first weeks or months, it will all work out by itself.
YOU will change a lot
That doesn’t mean losing your personality or changing in a bad way. Moving in with someone is a step to growing up even more. Living together with him will make you become more patient, considerate and confident, even in a few months. You will feel a bit more responsible and you will understand what it means to have your first „home” after leaving your parents’ house.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé