It’s not always easy when you’re trying to figure out whether you’ve moved on from an old flame or not. You might genuinely believe that you’re okay and that you’ve gotten over your ex already.
But then, you suddenly run into them in public and you immediately freeze. The whole moment overwhelms you and you know that it shouldn’t be that way if you were genuinely over them.
And the truth might be that you still find yourself thinking about your ex every now and then. Thoughtlly, you would not be giving any thoughts to your ex. You would definitely take that as a sign for you to be ready to date again.
“You’re not ready to be in another relationship until you don’t think about your ex for at least one day and you are comfortable being alone,” says Laurel House, a dating expert and breakup coach. “In your lonely moments, moments of emotional weakness, or late at night, be honest — do you still think about your ex?”
However, the truth persists that there will be a few moments every now and then wherein your thoughts will linger towards your ex even when you’re already dating someone else.
So, what does that mean exactly? What kind of implications does it have on your relationship to know that you still can’t stop thinking about your ex? Is it bad that your mind still drifts towards your ex every now and then even while you’re already with someone new?
These are some very valid questions that you might have and you shouldn’t feel bad about having them at all. We are going to try to get to the bottom of the issue in this article. And to start things off, it’s essential for you to know that just because you still think about your ex doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t ready to be in a new relationship.
You might just have to be working through a few unresolved matters and emotions surrounding your previous relationships. But there is still a very real chance that you haven’t moved on after all.
It might be time for you to do a little soul-searching and be introspective. Scrutinize deep into your being. If you just can’t seem to stop thinking about your ex even when you’re in a new relationship already, here’s what you can do about it.
Try to make sense of all your feelings.
It’s not always going to be definitive as to why your ex might still be running through your thoughts every now and then. Do you think about your ex because you still wish that you could get back together with them?
Or maybe you had just been together for such a long time and you’re still adjusting to a life without them and you still have a few habits you need to get rid of. There are a million possible reasons as to why your ex might still be running through your mind.
Occasional thoughts about your ex might not be a problem. But if it happens constantly, then it might be a sign that you aren’t truly over them just yet after all.
And you don’t necessarily have to still be in love with them. It’s still possible for you to not be over them even though you no longer love them.
You would only ever know that you’re over your ex if you feel indifferent towards them. Don’t think that just because you have hateful thoughts about your ex means that you’re truly over the failed relationship.
Discuss your feelings with your partner once you’ve figured everything out.
And once you’ve come to terms with how you feel about your ex, it’s essential to bring these feelings up with your current partner. It’s very essential that you stay honest here.
Whether you have good news or not, you have to come clean with your ex. If you’re feeling problematic with your emotions, then your partner can actually help you resolve your feelings. Whatever the case, your partner always has the right to know.
Also, it’s essential that you have a game plan going into this discussion. You want to make sure that you are able to approach the topic in as mature a manner as possible. And you have to open yourself up to any methods that you can partake in to help you get over your emotions.
Determine whether you’re ready to be with someone new or not.
And finally, you and your partner have to make a decision. Once you’ve talked about your feelings and you’ve brought everything out into the open, then it’s time for you to discuss how you move forward.
The essential thing here is that the two of you do what is best for you as individuals and as a couple.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé