We are going to go through life meeting different kinds of people and experiencing different kinds of things. That’s just the nature of life. There are going to be a few people we meet in this life who are genuinely good. There are some people who we will consider to be our absolute best friends in life. There are those who will wreak havoc in our lives and give us lots of terror. But there are also those who will brighten our days with a lot of joy and happiness. There are those who are meant to stay in our lives forever. There are also those who will only stay in our lives in a temporary period.
But we are always going to have a tendency to focus on the people who are nearest and dearest to our hearts. We always want to be giving more time, energy, and attention to the people who are most essential to us. These people happen to integrate themselves into our lives in a very deep and intimate manner. They become an integral part of our lives and they stay at our side regardless of the good times or the bad.
And sometimes, we can take these people for granted while they are there. We fail to value them in the way that they deserve to be valued. And when we lose these people, it always hurts. It can feel like a punch to the gut that can leave us gasping for air. We wish that we would be able to bring them back into our lives. We wish we could have the power to just conjure these people back. There is a significant hole that is left in your life as a result of this person living. Not a lot of people might be able to understand what you’re going through unless they’ve been through a similar situation themselves. However, there are only a few things about your situation that people would be able to relate to. Here are 6 things that those who have only lost loved ones are able to understand.
1. You live with a sense of regret about the loss.
Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the loss, you are still going to feel a sense of regret about it. You will regret not valuing the time that you spend with that person that you’ve lost. You will regret about not being able to prolong your relationship. These are regrets that you can try to ignore, but they still stay with you.
2. Even the smallest things will be able to break you down.
You will feel very fragile on an emotional level. It will be as if everyone and everything will be able to break you down. There is just a sure sense of vulnerability that is there in your life which is keeping you from feeling brave and strong.
3. You dwell on the memories and moments that you shared together.
You are always going to be dwelling on the memories that you have had together. You find it so hard to cope with the fact that they’re no longer with you. And that’s why you just choose to live in your memories.
4. You still feel the pain of the loss even as time passes you by.
It doesn’t matter if it’s only been a few days or a few years. A loss is still a loss and you still feel that pain with you. Of course, the pain might lessen over time. Maybe you get better at dealing with it. But whatever the case, the pain is still there and it’s the kind of pain that just demands to be felt. It’s still the kind of pain that you just can’t seem to ignore or block out.
5. You are better at empathizing with others who are grieving.
You just understand how to empathize with other people better because of the fact that you are experiencing so much grief. Whenever you come across someone who is experiencing some serious sadness, you are able to understand that person’s pain so much more than other people typically would. You are going through some serious spells of sadness and that’s why you understand other people who are feeling the same way.
6. You find it difficult to move on.
You find it difficult to move on from the loss. You know that life has to go on somehow but you don’t know how to go about doing that. You know that it isn’t healthy for you to be dwelling on the loss but you just don’t know how to move on from it. You don’t know what you have to do to pick yourself up from the hole that you have dug for yourself.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé